The story so far

There was a time I fought with the world. I fought everyday but I could not win.

I complained. I hated all.

The world seemed like an unequal place. I revolted against authority, and followed my heart. Half-hearted efforts yielded little. With my feet in two different boats, the journey was destined to be rocky.

Was I a rebel though? I think I was. A rebel without a cause, then? No! My cause was to prove to them that there existed a different kind of life. I needed to show them there was a life that was much, much better than just safely following the herd. I spoke to them. They were unconvinced. They said I spoke too much and delivered too little. They said I was a loser.

Then, one day, everything changed! I was destined to prove them wrong. I chose a life — no, a life was thrust upon me by my circumstances. Circumstances which at first had seemed hostile to me. I complained. I fought with an imaginary God. I cried.

I asked, “Why me, of all the people in the world?”

My imaginary God smiled and whispered, “Because you are special!”

Days changed into weeks, weeks into months. The curse turned to a boon. And I realised – I was happy. For the first friggin’ time in many many years, I was happy! By jove, that was the only thing that mattered. That happiness and that satisfaction was the only thing in the entire world that mattered to me.

Today, months later, I feel like I have created my own little island of “all that is right” in the vast ocean of “all that is not”.

In this island of mine, there is no hatred, no grief, no sadness, no regrets. There’s only happiness and good old fashioned hard work. Like a karma yogi, I work. And the consequent satisfaction is the biggest reward.
The mockers and haters are very far from my island. I don’t need them anymore.

In this island, I am happy. That is the only thing that matters. This is my story so far.


Hit me!!!

The clown

Hit me!!!

Remember this ????

I do.

When I was a child, I simply hated these “HIT ME” clowns.
No matter how much I tried, I could never beat this thing. It would take all the blows that my young wrists could offer. It would swerve left, right, and all over the place, as I tried my best to knock it off its feet, and make it stay low.

But, “Boing!!!”, and it was back on its feet again, almost as if to tease me with the “HIT ME” caption that was attached to its chest.

Today, times have changed. I’m no longer a child. My wrists are fully developed now. And I no longer have this “HIT ME” clown with me. Don’t even remember what happened to it. It was way back in time.

The simple life that childhood offered has transformed into a complex, frustrated, and disillusioned state of existence now. Life has been coming down harshly on me. Initially, for a year, it was okay. I managed to exist, with a forced smile on my lips. Another year on, and the going just got tougher. Today, the situation is BAD. Real BAD. “HOPE” is just another myth, now.

At this juncture, I was reminded of the “HIT ME” clown, courtesy a casual conversation with my younger sister. THE HIT ME CLOWN.

“EUREKA!!!”. Here was the simple solution to all the seemingly complex problems of my life!!!

Be like the “HIT ME” clown. As simple as that.

YES! Never ever let life keep you down. Always be back to face the next blow that life has to offer, that too with a clownish smile on your face, and the metaphorical “HIT ME” sign attached to your chest.

Never say die, ever!!!

Soon, the Gods will get tired of giving you a hard time and. . . . . Hang on, even as I was thinking of finishing off this blogpost with this last line, I recieved a call from my mother. Some more bad news. More troubles sent by God..

Perhaps, my optimism was really getting to His nerves, and He decided to add to my troubles, and see if I could still be optimistic.

Nice try, God. But not good enough to keep ME down.

I refuse to give up.
“HIT ME” once more.