The soul crusher

You who are ever in disagreement shall one day agree with my vision, my thoughts. One day you shall see light shooting out of my words.

You who are ever in opposition shall one day nod your little head in approval, and my heart shall leap in joy.

Do you know how much heartburn you cause when you trample upon my ideas, over which I have worked half a day and some more hours?

Could you not show some solidarity or at least refine my thoughts?


Why do you instead choose to just berate, and criticise, and never show the path to the ever-complying learner that is me?

Oh why!

What cruel joy do you derive from shaking up the very foundations that offer me confidence in my humble capacity for creativity and intelligent thought?

Your method is maddening – your words seethe, I discard them as another of eccentricities, and yet at a later hour those words trouble.

My mind doesn’t want to concede defeat, not to you.

The fight that goes on within the recesses of my mind is of a mighty scale. The objective is one – to get your nod of approval.

Do you realise how central you have become to my existence? Yes, THAT central that my first waking thought is about meeting your impeccably high standards somehow.

Yet, defeat rattles my efforts – day in, day out. The reactions are varied – ranging from feigned indifference to righteous indignation at such flat rejection.

But, this I promise you, defeats may rattle me, but they will not break me. From the ruins of defeat, I shall excavate the seeds to victory.

That victory shall be the sweetest, better than any I have had so far. That shall be a REAL feat for I shall have matched your high standards.

Till then, I shall try.

Today I lose.

I shall meet you tomorrow again.



6 comments on “The soul crusher

  1. Beechmount says:

    Sub, don’t let your critic get you down. If the critique of your writing is constructive, learn from it. If it is unreasonable, then it is probably because his mind is in “A” and yours in “Z” when it comes to subject matter and content. It can be frustrating, but cheer up, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.


    • No I do not allow him to put me down. I fight (decently) till the last possible moment and then take a bow. Also, it is amazing that I do not have a bitter aftertaste of him, because I understand people are different, and cannot really have the same take on things.

      The post reflects a seizing feeling of desperation. 😀

  2. LindaGHill says:

    That’s incredibly tough. I hope that you come out the other side of this with something positive.

  3. Hope you are feeling much better now… 😀

    P.S. – I’ve booked tickets to Secunderabad. 🙂

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