Yesterday, I was returning home from the office, around 10:00 p.m. I found a share-auto waiting so I hurried and boarded it. I hurried because share-autos do not show up after 10:00 p.m. This one was probably the last for the day. Missing it would mean walking all the way to home, covering a distance of more than 2 km or hiring a private auto and ending up paying exorbitant charges. Four out of the five passengers in the share-auto were men. The other passenger was a girl, a college student, probably. I was the sixth.  The
moment I boarded, she stepped out of the auto. She hired a private auto instead. A share-auto would start only when it had a minimum of six passengers and because the girl had stepped out, we had to wait.

The other  passengers felt that the girl had over-reacted. “What was so wrong with being seated with men? Doesn’t she have brothers?”, some of them asked. Initially I too thought that it was too rude on her part to have stepped out. But, come to think of it, we were six men, including the driver. She had every reason to not to feel safe. It has been only months since the brutal Delhi gang rape.  Mind you, it happened while she was accompanied by a male friend. In this case, this girl was alone.  A lot of things must have gone through her head – What if anything untoward happens during the journey? What if the other passengers turn out to be rapists? They may not look like rapists but you never know. Was she strong enough to fight back if  such a thing happened? (God forbid such a thing happening to any other girl)

Even if it happened, this society will only blame the girl.

What was she doing at that hour of the night?

Where did she come from?

Where was she going?

What kind of a dress was she wearing?

Why did she get into the auto in spite of knowing that all the other passengers were men?

And lastly it will say – She was asking for it!

We, men, ask girls to see us as brothers, fathers etc. but we often forget that even blood relations have been the culprits in a number of cases.  It sounds scary but it is the truth. This being the case, how on earth can we expect a girl to trust a stranger like you or me?  She has every reason not to trust us and we will have to live with it.


18 comments on “THEY HAVE LOST FAITH IN US!

  1. Good one, Allwin. We have lost trust, we men. Heads hang in shame.

    • An atmosphere of suspicion prevails. It leaves the womenfolk feeling unsafe. It hurts when men who respect women are looked upon with suspicious eyes. But, with news of rapes pouring in every day do they even have any other option?

  2. lindaghill says:

    I find it very sad that society has reached the point where this girl felt that the odds of getting abused outweighed the odds of being safe. And it’s not just India. I’m not sure I would have stayed with six men late at night in an enclosed space even in Canada.

  3. That is quite a revelation, Linda.

  4. Jessica says:

    Excellent post. She was a smart girl, and that’s a sad thing, indeed.

  5. soumyav says:

    very true Allwin! such questions are asked when anything happens,till then no one bothers to see that a girl is safe or not!

  6. gita4elamats says:

    Men, the women of the world are losing faith in you and you must do your utmost to restore it!

  7. Monika Amita Bakshi says:

    Very well-written post. I appreciate your efforts to raise this sensitive issue. Reblogging!!

  8. biwo says:

    Yes, it’s sad indeed. I work in an IT park which is spread over several acres and it’s a three kilometre walk to the nearest bus shelter and auto stand.
    Before the Delhi rape case, I’d often offer the security guards who work in my company a ride till the bus shelter. Its a long walk and the ride saved them a 20 minute walk.

    They were grateful and I felt good about helping somebody in small ways. During the ride,, they spoke about their families and we briefly shared a common humanity. Somehow, after the Delhi rape case, I do not feel safe about offering men rides. I feel uneasy and feel that the risk is too great.

    Incidents like the Delhi rape have changed my basic assumptions about men because I’m too scared to trust an unknown man. For many women, a strange man has become a threat and a danger, unless proven otherwise

  9. Rambler says:

    And here we debate “India Shining..” It is shameful. Is this what our culture of thousands of years has reduced us to!!

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