How are you, Adam?

I just came across a news article on the internet : “Lanza DNA Study: Geneticists to Analyze Adam Lanza’s DNA to Find Answers”.

Isn’t it amazing how authorities will do anything to find a scapegoat instead of pinpointing the real issue?
So now they’ll blame it on the poor lad’s DNA! Ridiculous!

I don’t know what you make of this news story, but to me, this is just another attempt at pushing the real issue out of the public eye.

What America needs is better gun control, and close-knit societies that don’t just isolate loners like Adam.

What America needs is divorced parents taking utmost care to make sure that their children are not so hard hit by their separation, that they decide to go out in the way that Adam did.

Many of you see Adam as a monster, or as the devil incarnate, perhaps?
But, to me, Adam was just another bright, but deeply disturbed teen. Adam Lanza wasn’t just a name, but a phenomenon that lives on. An unwanted legacy that America shall have to do with.

What do they call intensely bright, but socially unacceptable kids in America? Nerds, right? Adam was a victim of the popular ‘nerd’ culture, that ensured that he remained a lonely kid for all his life.

What can be worse than this? Some of his classmates do not even remember how he looked. An insignificant existence.

What made him decide to do what he did? I mean, he was not the guy with the worst fate in the whole world. News tells me that he lived in a huge, sprawling home – the standard American dream home.

I’ve seen people worse off than him. I’ve myself lived in worser conditions than him. I’m of the same generation to which he belonged.

I believe he did what he did, because he felt he was alone. He felt he didn’t have anyone to share his feelings with. Also, he lived in a home full of guns. Two plus two is four.

People from his school remember him as a ‘nice’ kid. I believe he was indeed a nice kid. But beneath the nice-ness lurked a hollow life, torn apart by his parents’ divorce and the lack of counselling.

Material wealth is not everything. Adam Lanza proved this once again.
We are social beings. We need friends, parents, a nurturing family. We need someone to place their arm on our shoulder and to tell us that they love us.

I know this probably sounds touchy-feely. But I do not care. I feel for Adam, from the bottom of my heart. He too was a victim in the Sandy Hook shooting – a victim of social ostracizing.

Perhaps all this could’ve been avoided had there been timely intervention. I wish someone had tried to be his friend. I wish someone had sat down with him and asked “How are you, Adam?”.


5 comments on “How are you, Adam?

  1. Wonderfully written Subh.

    This post had me in tears.

    If only Adam had a loving and caring parent like you. 😦

  2. Beechmount says:

    When you deal with people who are mentally unstable (Adam Lanza is said to have been borderline autistic) you are entering uncertain grounds. There are millions of kids, divorced from their parents, who grow up to become normal, balanced persons, but you will always find someone who suffers from a mental condition that the emotional experience of parental divorce may worsen and bring about conditions where reality becomes blurred and something else takes over his reasoning.

    As for guns, we have strict regulations here in Canada, quite unlike USA, where the constitution gives it’s citizens the right to bear arms. The NRA is often quoted as saying “Guns don’t kill people, people kills people.” The most obvious conclusion is if there were no guns, then the kind of mass killings taking place now and then in schools and other places in the US (and other countries as well) could not happen. Americans have a paranoid attitude toward owning guns for ‘their own security’ , which defies all normal reasoning.

    The US as a country is quite unique. The “American dream” has always been pursued, but few ever really accomplish it. Their social fabric is profoundly different from most others nations in the world. Money equals success, so greed is the foundation stone of their society.

  3. His school/college-mates have been known to suggest that he might have suffered from Asperger’s or Autism. But even if that is the case, can we really ignore the plain fact that probably he wouldn’t have ended up like this if had had good parents?
    What if he had had therapy/medication? We wouldn’t have lost him and the 26 others.
    I don’t know which is more alarming – their paranoia about gun control or their loosely knit societal fabric!

    • Beechmount says:

      With some exceptions, In today’s world, it is difficult to maintain a closely knit society. People of Latin American origin maintain very close family ties and 40 per cent of the population in USA has either Latino roots or are born in Latin America. If you separate patriotism from the cohesive forces that keep nation’s social fabrics together, you will find culture, language, religion and social customs to be the denominators that creates close-knit societies.

      The US and Canada composes multicultural societies and it is quite notable that “Birds of a feather flock together.” People belonging to or coming from a particular culture tend to stick together and form closely knit societies. This is especially (but not exclusively) true for people from Asia. White Americans who can trace their ancestry to the US for many, many generations, while strongly patriotic, tend to have less stoutly knit social fabrics. Individuality and the desire for monetary success (Achieving the American dream) is often the preeminent force guiding their lives. Children become smitten with the social disease called “wanton consumerism”-they expect to get all the latest gadgets and whatever they want– instant gratification. They are more influenced by what their peers in school thinks of them, – unbridled sexuality etc. than anything their parents try to influence them with. They come home from school to an empty house, for both parents are working, either because they have to, in order to pay the bills, or because they themselves want more and bigger things–the American dream.

      The old way of life, where people took time to “smell the roses” is pretty much gone and no-one can turn the clock back. I feel immensely privileged to have experienced life as it once was and I do my best to maintain it, but it isn’t easy in a world that has gone digital in just about every aspect. We have lost many of the traditions that kept people together and maintained the degree of down to earth feelings that is good for the soul.

Let me know what you are thinking. . .

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s