I want an escape. Doesn’t matter if it’s narrow. I just want to be let out. Just this once?
The world beckons, but this city chains me. Perhaps it loves me a tad too much for my comfort. It doesn’t want to let go of me.
But it’s monotony repels me.
The same faces.
The same places.
The same minds.
I’m hating this monogamy.
I see light, peeping through a hole in my room. It shows me glimpses of a new world – a world where I truly belong – a world where they’ll respect me for what I am.
For once, I want to truly belong. To somewhere. To something. A group, maybe. Or, an idea?
Doesn’t matter what it is, till it provides me a sense of belonging. I wish to amount to something. Soon.
I’ve been called names. Sometimes, a rebel. Or, an eccentric. A lost case.
This time I want to be called what I really am.
But I do not know what I am. Yet.
I’ll never know till I leave friendly shores. Till I face the world. Till I’m rough-handled. This city wants to suggest to me what I am. But, I want to find out what I can be.
At times, too much familiarity can scare you. It makes you wonder if you’ll never leave friendly shores; if you are damned forever to rot in the known.
The known scares me. Like never before. I long for a fresh lease of life. For fresh air.
I want to know more people. More minds. I want to make friends.
I want to know more of my kind.
But, what one can’t cure, one must endure. I have to put up with the unpleasant for now.
Till opportunity knocks at my door.
But for now, I must make do with the city’s love.
Not that I do not love it back. I do. But there are times, when you have to move on.
There are times when you must outgrow motherly love and affection to face the brutal world on your own.
For now, I have to make do with the city’s warm hug.
I must hug it back.
A reluctant hug.