Will you marry a raped girl?

When I started this blog, I had a clear idea in my head that I would just write satirical stuff, make-believe flowery love stories or relationship stuff.

But, things happened and I drifted towards more practical issues : dowry, male dominance in India , India and social change.

Here I want to make something very clear. I certainly don’t want to stand on a high pedestal of moral values and sound all too preachy or morally superior. I certainly don’t want to be seen like that. I write. Thats what I do. I don’t preach. I have here a medium to express my views and share it with people. And I would like to be looked at just like that : an honest blogger with a conscience.

The last 4/5 days have been goldmine for the media houses, be it print or electronic.

A 17-year old girl sexually molested and beaten up by a mob just because she was drinking in a pub at late hours of the night makes for sensational news.

There is widespread anger about the whole incident. 4 out the 11 identified have been arrested. Others are missing. Some groups are saying that the girl asked for it by staying till late at a pub. Some are angry that the media simply covered the incident for 40minutes without defending the girl. Some are livid with the police for arriving at the scene of crime 30 minutes late.

But, what bothers me the most is that these are simply knee jerk reactions and when the dust settles down, this case would be forgotten and we would all be going on with our lives as before.

The larger issue here is sexual molestation and the stigma associated with it.

In India, there is a certain stigma associated with rape. And suprisingly, instead of the criminal, the victim suffers the most here. She is looked down upon as easy, ‘impure’, and someone who’ll never find a husband (if she is single). So, the law here often comes up with a unique settlement for the woman – “MARRY THE RAPIST”. In most cases the law offers the woman this compromise – a redemption for her, a passport to a life with dignity. And in return she must withdraw the case he had registered against the offender. The offender gets a free run.

Here is a newspaper except :
“You normally don’t expect agirl to marry her rapist but in a recent case in West Delhi , a woman wanted to marry the guy who allegedlyraped her. This is obviously not a one off case and definitely brings to limelight the existence of an insensitive society that doesn’t think twice before putting a girl up for trial, once again.
This March, K G Balakrishnan, the then ChiefJustice of India had said, “Awoman should be allowed tohave a baby out of rape and/or marry the man and drop the rape charge if sheso wishes.” But most don’t call the step justified. Kavita, an NGO worker stresses on the point. “Thegirl has already been wronged once. And to add to the misery, her predator neatly escapes the consequences of the crime by simply marrying the girl. You never know if this practice catches on, rapistsmight resort to such techniques on any girl he fancies. This is just not done.”
The rapist also takes advantage of the social stigma that no man will accept a woman who has been raped.”

I think a victim is mentally raped the moment she enters in a matrimonial alliance with the offender. This is the moment when she chooses to be raped for every single day of her life.

And the offender is not responsible for the second rape and subsequent rapes. WE ARE. THE HYPOCRITICAL SOCIETY IS. We have created this stigma. We are all rapists, maybe not physically but morally, yes.

But India is diverse in its cultures and traditions. And also diverse in the quality of people that live here.
Like there are pricks, there are also men of honour.
Enter Suman Das, a 19-year old college student.

I happen to swim in the same swimming pool as Suman. The day before yesterday, we were having an animated discussion about the incident of the sexual molestation. Someone said that the girl’s life is ruined now because she would not find a husband.

Suman protested and said he was ready to marry the girl. He said he was even ready to marry someone who had been raped.
And I, for one, know that he was not being hypocritical. He meant it.
In this hour of gloom and depressing incidents, and social degradation, it is really refreshing to find CHANGE in a young 19- year old lad. Change is alive. Maybe we can all learn a thing or too from Suman. Maybe we can stop the mental rape of the girl by accepting her as any other girl. She was just the victim of a beast’s lust. Let us not victimise the victim. Suman Das is not a hero straight out of a Bollywood flick – he is how real men should be. But perhaps century-old traditions have conditioned us to become lesser men.
Its time we let a rape victim live like any other girl lives – sans judgement. Its time we treat her equally, judge her on the basis of her attitude, education, independence, and how beautiful a person she is.

Ask yourself – “Would you marry a
raped girl?”

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33 comments on “Will you marry a raped girl?

  1. Trisha Dey says:

    Being born as a girl in Indian society, I can easily empathize with what kind of a trauma a girl goes through when she is raped, when she is being stripped, when she is being molested among public and on camera, when she is considered as “impure” and above all when marrying her rapist is the only solution the society puts forward to her. I’ll be very frank here, a girl is somehow or the other considered as a burden to her family and this is true in case of modern society too… Only the ways have changed today. Parents somehow still are of this opinion that they have get their daughter married in time no matter however independent she is. For an unmarried woman always faces questioning glances and eventually her parents too… A divorcee man getting married again is ok but the same is hard to digest in case of a divorcee woman. I don’t know why but she is termed guilty alone for her marriage not working. Now, if a girl is raped, their burden increases lot more. No guy would marry her. So then what is the solution?? Get her married to the same guy who raped her. This is such an easy solution.. A raped girl is raped of her right to make decisions too… Its pathetic!
    I have always valued my self respect above anything else and my heart screams out to demolish every such nuisance against women. But then more logical thoughts come up in me. Such stigmas against women are so so deep rooted that you and me, even if we want to can’t swipe it off easily. But I won’t give up!! Never will I do that! This women community is and has been facing so much just because they don’t possess strength in their shoulders.Why???
    The very thought of a girl being considered as an instrument for sexual pleasure shivers me!!! But it is so good to know that Suman possesses a totally different thinking. His words were like a cool breeze in this superbly heated situation! I feel glad that my schoolmate thinks so.. But do you really think every man, who is born and brought up in this patriarchal society would be able to do so???…

    • I believe change is coming. And change is coming with the younger generation. Suman, I believe is a representative of his age group. I would like to believe there are more. Many more. The younger generation can change the scenario. Did you observe that they are the most perturbed by this incident, while elders are passing it off by saying , “she asked for it by dressing badly, by being in a bad place, at a bad time”? Numerous facebook groups have been formed clamouring for justice for the girl and nabbing of the culprits. I believe there is a protest march at Dighalipukhuri at 15:30 hours today. Who else, but the younger generation, are causing this major, major clamour for justice? Change will come. You shouldn’t give up. Finally to quote Swami Vivekananda :
      “MY FAITH IS IN THE YOUNGER GENERATION. OUT OF THEM WILL COME MY WORKERS. LIKE LIONS, THEY WILL WORK OUT THE WHOLE SOLUTION”.

      • Trisha Dey says:

        I won’t give up at all… Sincerely hoping for a Change!! A Change that is noticeable!!

  2. I feel honored to have friend like you. It takes a lot of guts to write such stuff on a public platform. It goes to show how livid you are with the hypocritical society that we live in. What’s more disturbing is that we are all a part of this.

    My head can only bow down with respect for your 19 year old friend Suman Das.

    A Change is round the corner. My hopes are still alive.

  3. Jamie says:

    “Let us look at her as just any other girl. A girl who’s beautiful, a girl whose smile is innocent, whose laugh is like the free wind – a girl you can fall in love with and marry.”

    AND

    “Enter Suman Das….He said he was even ready to marry someone who had been raped.”

    Come ON, Subh! You really let yourself down with this sexist nonsense.

    Firstly let’s not ‘look’ at her. Maybe ‘consider’ her or ‘admire’ her but not ‘look’ at her like she’s some untouchable museum piece.

    Secondly, on your list of descriptions of this girl, where are the words ‘intelligent’, ‘independent’, ’empowered’ and other adjectives that demonstrate your acceptance of her as an equal to your own independent, intelligent self? Are her beauty and ‘innocent smile’ the only things important to you? This Freudian slip alone speaks volumes.

    Thirdly, and this is just an aside to the main issue here, are you only looking for a girl you can ‘fall in love with and marry’? What about companionship? To travel together? To share experiences with? To take on the challenges in life together? To be an equal to? Do you only fall in love with a girl with the romantic notion of marriage? Marriage which, in Indian society, means the woman staying at home, becoming a baby-making machine, with a 50% chance of being subjected to domestic abuse?

    And then enter the HERO of the story, a man who is prepared to marry a rape ‘victim’. Wow. Are we now putting the MAN on the pedestal for being so honourable that he will allow himself to marry a rape ‘victim’, like he’s doing her a favour? How big of him, how honourable. What a decent man HE must be. HE. HIM. MAN. HIMSELF. This is reading like some bullshit Bollywood fantasy where the man flies in to the rescue and HE becomes the centre of attention, the superhero of the day. He has saved the poor woman from a life of disgrace by being so big and mature that he would allow himself to marry a rape ‘victim’.

    Whilst I applaud you for attempting to tackle this issue, and understand what you are trying to do here with your example, you have merely demonstrated how entrenched sexism is in Indian society. It is so bad even an educated man like yourself is still objectifying women as things of innocence and beauty, as creatures whose sole reason for being is to provide you with a wife. You have successfully turned this issue into a male one by finding yourself a hero who enters the story to save the day.

    Note: you’ll see that I’ve highlighted the term ‘rape victim’. Please research the differences between the terms ‘rape victim’ and ‘rape survivor’. It makes for enlightened reading.

    • Catalina c/Corazón de Melón says:

      Lol. You are talking as if raped women or men were pampered with love anywhere in the world. Western(ized) countries are not the exception. Here, actual raped people are ALSO stigmatized, maybe not at the same degree as it is in India, but still, and most people will think it twice before getting romantically involved with one as it represents a lot of baggage they have no time to deal with. As a matter of fact, most people in the Western world are looking for people “free of baggage” and “full of life” as their potential partners because most are too busy to deal with others’ “mind games” and “crap.” Here, there isn’t much empathy either. And why would he shower anyone with “empowering” adjectives when he doesn’t even know the person in question as to verify his assertions are any true?? I wouldn’t be giving free classifications to people I don’t know well JUST BECAUSE they went through a specific something and I happen to think those are the only positive traits out there. Why would he? Why would YOU? And his friend might not be a hero, but his willingness to defy societal stigmas freely-imposed-in-the-victims-of-a-crime shows that the patriarchal mentality is somehow changing there, and in India THAT is a step forward in regards to the improvement of women’s treatment. I think that was his point, to not look at her any different for having been raped and still be able to recognize her innocence despite her scars. And sorry to disagree but I don’t think giving her pitiful, paternal treatment will make her feel any better since doing so is also singling her out. Also, I doubt treating a human being with respect and dignity, regardless of her/his gender means you should “elevate” (is that really so?) them to a certain position seen as acceptable in society. Or, what, is a wo/man who is NOT independent, empowered or very bright of any less value than one that is all of that? So what, does the value of a person depends on how well s/he possesses the most “desirable” traits according to certain societies? I don’t think so. I see other human beings as deserving of respect whether they are dependent, innocent, weak, strong, or whatever; there’s no need to make them a “favor” by attributing them traits we ourselves consider better than others when they are really not. I don’t think certain fixed attributes that imply strength and empowerment make a person worthier of admiration.

      Although I see your intention is great, I think you should reconsider how feminism and ethnocentrism are affecting the way you see things.

  4. Hi Jamie 🙂
    Well, I can well understand your exasperation. I can understand how this looks to you. Perhaps my writing wasn’t clear enough. Or it needs a foreword stating what I want to drive at.
    Okay let me clear a few points first :
    1. This is not a sexist write-up. It is rather promoting the opposite of sexism. You know what is sexist?
    It sexist when a girl who has been raped is seen as ‘easy’, ‘impure’, or as an object of ridicule. My write- up merely talks about change in the mindset of the younger generation .

    2. About the use of ‘look’ instead of ‘consider’, I am more than certain that it is not a freudian slip. I think you read between the lines far too much. And yes, i didn’t use words such as ‘independent’, ‘educated’ etc because the article was getting long and i kept it shorter by making references to what you call ‘romantic love’ and hoped that it would drive the point home.
    And when I wrote “….a girl you can fall in love with and marry”, i simply wrote keeping in mind my notion of ‘love’ – which is NOT about finding a baby making machine, but about companionship and like mindedness. But alas I was misunderstood badly.
    When i’m in love with someone it is about companionship, and not just, beauty and innocence.

    3. About trying to portray Suman Das as a hero – it was CERTAINLY not my intention. I don’t know how it sounds Bolly – ish, because i’ve mentioned the word “CHANGE” few times in the last paragraph. Suman Das is not a hero, he is a representative of CHANGE, please try and understand that.

    4. About marrying a raped woman being a mercy marriage :
    it is again a terrible, terrible misinterpretation. I’m not saying men should all marry raped women to show they are Big and merciful. What i merely tried to do through this article was to create awareness. I just want that young men shouldn’t judge a girl /woman on the basis of the rape that happened in her life. The day young men can say, “My girlfriend/wife had been raped , but its certainly not her fault, and it certainly does not affect my judgement of her.” is the day I dream of.

    Note : i did research ‘rape victim’ versus ‘rape survivor’. And I’m enlightened. But in the Indian context I think its still too far away when we can have proper psychological counselling for raped women. You have lived here so u know how things are. In the general sense, i will still refer to them as ‘rape victims’. First the perception of rape has to change here, then maybe one day I can write ‘rape survivor’.

    I hope I have clarified my writing , Jamie. Do let me know if you still think it is a sexist write – up.

  5. Sudden says:

    Very well written indeed! And Jamie, I think y’ve read needlessly between the lines far too much. The author isn’t trying to be sexist at all. Just b’cos he didn’t mention “intelligent, caring, like-mended, etc” doesn’t mean that he does not consider these qualities. Ever hear of jumping the gun? That’s what y’ve done here!

  6. Hello there Sudden. I’m glad you liked this post understood what I had wanted to convey through it. Thank you.

  7. Jamie says:

    Hi Subh. I get what you are trying to get across. I understand the sentiment. It’s admirable that you are addressing this issue, but I’m afraid some of your words still hint at sexism, and if neither you nor your readers get my point then I’m afraid you have even further to go than you realise.

    You might not think you are being sexist but the omission of words like ‘intelligent’ and ‘independent’ when describing women illustrates an under-developed attitude towards your female peers. Why omit these words but include superficial descriptors like ‘innocent’ and ‘beautiful’? It shows scant regard for the equality of women, which is surely central to this issue. If you were that concerned about the length of your essay then wouldn’t it have been preferable to omit the superfluous, romantic rubbish but keep in important and respectful adjectives like ‘equal’ and ‘independent’? How can I take you seriously if you put ‘beautiful’ above ‘equal’ in your description of women? You can be pathetically in love with women all your life but this says nothing of your attitude towards their equality or independence. A husband can love his wife eternally but still beat the crap out of her for speaking out of turn.

    I know you well enough to know that you will not take offence at my comments, but I think you know me well enough to know that I am trying to make a serious point, and I think it’s something that neither you nor your readers are quite getting. I hope the above paragraph helps make it explicit.

    My other point about putting this chap on a pedestal has been confirmed by one of your readers saying “My head can only bow down with respect for your 19 year old friend Suman Das”. He makes it sound like this is a real achievement, something that the reader is as-yet unable to do himself. My point is that this attitude should be a GIVEN. This attitude should be expected from every man without question, and to ‘bow down’ is saying ‘I am not yet ready to have the same attitude myself’. But then as I write this I realise that perhaps this is the point you were trying to make, that I am angry at the backwards attitude of Indian men, and that I should be encouraging you to shout this from the rooftops. On that you have my full support.

    • Hi Jamie,
      Since I was dragged into this heated exchange of words I felt it was necessary to provide some clarification from my end.

      In a society that is so much obsessed with caste, creed, religion, physical appearance etc. it takes some courage to state that you are ready to marry a girl who was raped without fearing the consequences. I wholeheartedly wanted to respect Suman for his attitude but, that doesn’t mean that I see him as a hero or I want to him on a pedestal.

      Let me make one more thing very clear “I am ready to have the same attitude myself without a question”.

      I am sorry if you felt that I’ve made the wrong choice of words to express it.

    • Catalina c/Corazón de Melón says:

      So being an extremist feminist and subconsciously asserting your cultural “superiority” makes you less “backwards”? Sadly, most Westerners carry a self-entitled, self-righteous attitude that delude them to believe they are the possessors of the truth and the rest are all backwards and wrong for not following their ways. Ironically, this same attitude has caused the grossest crimes against humanity all throughout the world. Even now, if you ask a Westerner (most) what s/he thinks about a human tribe, s/he will be incapable of seeing anything else than “savageness” in their way of life, even when s/he won’t even bother trying to understand any of it. Why is that need to try to impose your views and values onto others? People come in many, many different shades and their views, perceptions, reactions, feelings, beliefs, cultures, styles, expectations, ways of expressing things, values, etc. might differ 180 degrees from yours, which doesn’t mean they are wrong and you are right. There’s no need to call anyone backwards or under developed, when superficially judging others might actually make YOU all that. You have to learn to respect the perspective of others and try to understand the underlying concepts behind it, instead of self-attributing the right to point fingers at people who don’t follow your exact ways and attempting to DEMAND they do it. Might I ask, WHO you think you are to believe your ways are any better than others’?

      I also think you have to understand that human societies are complex products of many, many factors, and changes don’t happen overnight just because you think something is morally and socially right. Also, despite what one might wish to believe and what the advances in technology might mislead to believe, societies actually don’t evolve; they simply change as converging ideas surge, and improve in certain areas/fields (technology for sure) because others have set some sort of precedent already. I would even dare to say that if a natural disaster destroyed every single material thing created by humans tomorrow, it would be very hard to create all the same things from scratch all over again. Time and the improvement of societies in certain areas (technology) is like math; you cannot skip the earlier levels without affecting your preparedness for the next levels. However, subjective and ever-changing perceptions of ways of living, brought by morals, values, beliefs, etc. are prone to change over time. So, one day you can live in a world where the male dominates, and when there are enough opponents to that model of thinking, that can totally change into women dominating, although there’s no formal evidence of the latter. Without going too far, in the Western world, even if there is comparatively more equality between the genders, there’s an increasing number of men AND women asking for the old gender roles to be reestablished. If that happens to change Western society into a more conservative place again, I can bet they will all be willing to judge others according to their perception of morality, which is what Indian people do now (as in this world, people try to rationalize their behavior in some way or another.) Some groups feel culturally, morally, ethnically, racially, religiously, intellectually, or educationally superior to others and will always find their ways better than the others. That’s not just what many Indian men are doing with respect to women now, but also you are with respect to their society.

      Also, judging someone’s intelligence and independence requires a more than superficial knowledge of the person in question. You cannot watch someone on TV for a couple minutes and notice other than physical traits and any other exterior features. Here, in India, in England, or anywhere else. And why are you pointing fingers at Indian men as if being shallow were a characteristic exclusive to them? Western men are extremely superficial as well, but you make it sound as if they were not. Many will only approach a woman if she is hot enough and they will make a total blind eye to an average woman. I think that’s more of a universal trait instilled by most societies than an Indian one. And YOUR perception of what should be expected from a partner is by no means universal or means one has to follow it exactly as you see it to prove your stand. Even I, without being feminist or patriarchal-oriented, would not like my male partner to be whoring around and doing who knows what at 2 am. when he could be with me. That’s a personal preference though. Everyone’s expectations in a partner is different and, once again, trying to impose YOUR own expectations on a partner doesn’t actually mean those or others’ are any less or more sexist.

  8. Hi Jamie. Have made some changes in the post. Do check out.

  9. But I do want to make it very clear as to why I’ve had made some changes in the write up.
    Its not that I don’t believe in my writing or don’t have the balls to stand by it. I do. But It hurts me when you say “it shows an under developed attitude towards female peers”.

    I’ve studied in a co-ed school for thirteen years of my life, where we were taught to respect our female peers, respect women in general. In all my relationships with women I have sought qualities like “independence”, “originality”, and “inner beauty”. I take pride in my maturity and thinking, and I won’t let the exclusion of two words give someone the opportunity to paint me as a sexist. And I didn’t try to portray Suman Das as a hero, but Allwin’s comment made me realise perhaps I need to write it in a manner that it needs no further clarification as to what I had tried to drive at. I hope the post is alright now.

    • Jamie says:

      Absolutely, Subh. The edited version reads so much better. You know I wholeheartedly agree with your argument but when writing words you have to be absolutely clear what you mean, and your original version implied that ‘beauty’ in a woman was more important than anything else, and this does not equate to ‘equality’ in my book. I’m glad to see that there has been some clarification in what you meant and I’m sorry you feel you had to go so far with your justification. You know this is never personal, I just want to fully understand where you are coming from.

      If your girlfriend/wife/partner/lover can go out to a bar with her friends (but without you), get drunk, flirt with other men, dance all night and return home at 2am for you to embrace her and simply ask ‘how was your evening, dear?’, then our definitions of sexual equality are the same.

      I have a friend who I often got into heated political/social debates with and we normally round up our discussions with the phrase “we are in violent agreement with each other”. I think that applies here. We’re all the same side and we all agree with the issues Subh raises, but I am extremely sensitive to the equality of women, especially since being in India, and I want to be absolutely certain that your definition of equality is the same as mine. I think we are in violent agreement.

  10. Hi Jamie 🙂
    Its alright to have heated discussions and arguements till we “agree to disagree”. Yes I took some of it personally, which I generally don’t. That is because this is a burning issue that is very, very close to my heart and my bit doesn’t end with only writing blogs. I have heated arguements with my parents on a regular basis as I try to explain my views and make them see my point of view. I try and convince a lot of people.
    This issue has drained me and other sincere Guwahatians psychologically as new facts surfacing state that a journalist had instigated the mob. We are all angry, and want justice.
    But, surely we are on the same page here . All’s well 🙂

  11. Beechmount says:

    subhabrata———-

    Being a westerner, I, like so many others of similar background, tend to view non-western societies with a judgemental attitude, often brushing the cultural differences under the rug, ignoring the fact that many Asian cultures are thousands of years old. We tend to compare on the basis of a self-assured certainty that we are “better” than “them”. While this deplorable attitude is slowly changing due to the global interconnectivity that all countries have today, much remains to be done and cultural differences are often the hurdle that has to be overcome. If we are to live in a global society, we need to change our attitude toward each other. I don’t see any easy or quick way to change the habits and attitudes of cultures that have developed over several thousand years but there is hope that younger and much better educated men and women can see through all the prejudice and outdated narrow-mindedness that still prevail in many societies, including those of the west.

    Reading through all the comments provide a clear picture of prevailing attitudes clashing with new ways of looking at society’s customs and ideas of right and wrong. I wont comment on the latter, since my views no doubt would be seen as judgemental, and properly so, for seen from another cultures point of view, they would be.

    Dialog is a highly effective means of overcoming many of the problems discussed.

    • Hello there.
      It was really nice of you to comment.
      You are correct. There are no absolutes as to ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Having said that, it is essential that we have a universal consensus on basic issues like crime against women, education, and other social issues.

      Therefore I would insist you to comment on the issue concerned. We are very non judgemental and accomodating here at “Subh Dasgupta’s blog”. I can say the same of my readers.
      Please feel free to comment on the issue.

  12. Beechmount says:

    In India, there is a certain stigma associated with rape. And suprisingly, instead of the criminal, the victim suffers the most here. She is looked down upon as easy, ‘impure’, and someone who’ll never find a husband (if she is single)………

    The history of women in society (in any culture), does not make for enlightened reading . Male dominance has existed in tribal societies since Paleolithic times and one would be wrong by insisting that we no longer belong to such. Indeed, we identify ourselves by the language we speak and the prevailing customs in our “tribal” society and quite regardless of globalization, we still remain distinct because of that. Each “tribe” if you will, developed its own taboos and social practices that often left women exposed to the whims of male ideas of what a woman should be or not be. Sex has always played a major role in that.

    Virginity–why this has become a symbol of purity I’ll never quite understand, but then-that’s my western mind speaking. In the Islamic religion, a woman’s virginity (before marriage), plays such a major role as to border on insanity. When a Muslim dies, he expects to go to Paradise and have unending virgins available for his sexual pleasure. GIVE ME A BREAK–PLEASE. How can anyone become so brainwashed as to believe that.

    The stigma put upon a woman that has been raped or no longer is a virgin, is a direct result of religious influence in society and it’s no easy task to rectify that, at least not as long as ignorance and narrow mindedness prevail. Ask yourself if a woman is any less of a woman, just because she has been raped. Is she any less of a woman if she had consensual sex with a chap-before she got married? In the latter case, she agreed to having sex, in the first, she was forced to have it. In the end, the woman In my humble opinion, is the same, the only difference between the two is that the one who got raped suffered psychologically.

    Would I marry a woman that has been raped? You bet I would—it wasn’t her fault she was raped-it was the fault of some jerk who thinks he can do whatever he pleases and get away with it. Rape can carry a sentence of more than 20 years in jail in North America. Unfortunately, that is not always enough of a deterrent, but we have fewer rapes here than in many other countries.

    The whole subject of a woman’s “purity” is controversial, but why is it that guys can go around and have sex as they please, and no questions are asked as to how “pure” they are. Why is it left to women alone to remain “pure”? Should sex be liberated? The questions are endless.

    Cheers from Canada

  13. Thank you for posting your opinion.
    It’s really tough to be a young man in a nation with old thoughts. There are clashes all the time. But I believe I’m not alone. There are millions like me who feel the same way. Change will come. Let us remain positive.

    • Beechmount says:

      Yes, by all means, remain positive. Your generation will make huge changes to your societal structure. It is on your generation’s shoulders to make the changes needed for your country and culture to forge ahead with the ideology and changes that are paramount for meeting the challenges that have already arrived. Your country must meet the difficult issue of educating the poor and underprivileged and advance their cause for a chance to have a better life. I have every confidence that you, and your generation will make a substantial contribution toward that. There are thousands of very intelligent individuals amongst the poor whose only need is the chance for a good education- like the one you are getting.

      I know I sound like some “know it all” kind of geezer, but that goes with the territory of old people. I definitely qualify in that category.

      Tell me what you are studying- if you want to keep it private- email me. I have a suggestion or two for you that you may be interested in,-all depending on what your field of study is. Keep in touch- I have a lot of students from India that follows me- or at least use some of the material I publish on my blog. You seem to have something positive to say-you analyse life as it is around you, you try to make a point or bring something into the limelight that needs to be looked at. That’s an important step in your intellectual development.

      Cheers
      Kenny Beechmount

  14. Hi.
    Have sent you my e mail id in the form of a comment on the “About” page of your blog.

  15. gita4elamats says:

    ‘This March, K G Balakrishnan, the then ChiefJustice of India had said, “A woman should be allowed to have a baby out of rape and/or marry the man and drop the rape charge if she so wishes.” ‘
    What was the context for this statement?

  16. Very sad, when are we going to be a more compassionate world?

  17. daphne3631 says:

    Sir
    I have always been curius that whether in ancient India anyone married the raped girl. I know most of the time they either committed suicide because of the stigma that no one marries a raped woman. They always show it in films but I can’t be sure because they would do anything to get TRP or sympathy or just get their story ahead.
    I know there have been some good people in the past as well like suman. I feel that this stigma is mostly made up especially due to influence of TV or films that people have developed these preconceived notions or the parents are too scared at the time that they are sure no one will marry her.
    Is there any way of knowng the truth for sure from the past regarding whether this stigma is true?
    Anyone who has this information please do reply.

  18. Dev says:

    yes
    i will
    if the girl is good ,if i like her , then its a minor matter for me,,,But if it known to the society people that she was raped before then i have to move me step ,we all scared from our indian society,, at first i think we have to change this indian society.

  19. Dev says:

    i want to marry , if she is good human being, belong to well cultured family

  20. Snobar says:

    I myself have been raped by my ex-bf. It was a really traumatic incident of my life. I still feel bad because he never apologized for his crime nor he realized what he did to me. But iam happy in my life alone now after breaking up with him. I wish i could have judged him much earlier when his violent behavior crept in relation. Because of him i have started doubting intentions of all men.

  21. Voice from my Heart says:

    Friend,

    This post touch my heart and wanna share something with you.

    I think more than 85% or might 95% of people talk about sex. When I hear something like this, I feel very bad. They think that talking about a Sex is cool, but that is totally a stupidity.

    Many a times I have heard that Classmates in School, College or in University or even at organisation, or even at functions, in short everywhere you will find at-least one or more than person talks about sex even in public place.

    How can we stop this who talks about sex. How can we changed the minds of this type of stupid people? There are many questions come to my mind. We can’t go and fight with them because they are always in majority.

    Do you know this type of person expand their Stupid Community by letting Decent People to think about Sex.

    Do you know I don’t have any friend in my entire 24Yrs(2014) life because I feel bad when they talk this Stupidity.

    I have many questions, but avoiding it because I don’t wish that that words come from my mouth, I am and will respect women till my soul is alive!!!

    WE CAN TAKE A MAJOR STEP IF WE(who is reading this comments) STOP TALKING OF SEX IN ANY MEANS.!!!

    The word “SEX” means something more than actual word meaning of “SEX”, I have used this word in this comments in good faith to spread awareness.

Let me know what you are thinking. . .

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