‘M’ or ‘F’ ??? – The gender debate with a difference.

Some things are pretty definite in life. No matter how confused one is about the various truths and lies of life, there are some things which are certain – about which, one doesn’t need to lose much sleep. Yes, there are some things, thankfully – like ‘sex’. Every time you have filled out a form, I bet it was not that hard to write ‘M’ or ‘F’ in the small box under “Sex”.
Or was it ???

Horror of horrors, for some people it is hard to write ‘M’ or ‘F’ with definite authority. There are conflicts within – there is an inner voice saying something else, whispering all the while in their ears – “You are someone else”.

The recent episode involving the sex change petition filed by 21year old Guwahati boy Bidhan Baruah, and the subsequent unfolding of his story on national television, made me think – long and hard.

In my mind, I tried to reach out to people who are not certain about the one thing we take for granted – “SEX”.

I tried to understand how such people must have felt about themselves, for all of their lives.

What if, while growing up, you realise you feel more secure among peers of the so-called opposite sex?
What if, you find yourself secretly attracted towards the ways of the opposite sex, the way they talk, the way they walk, their general demeanour and body language?
And, what if, you find that their demeanour comes to you more easily than what nature had planned for you to be???

I remembered seeing such people in the streets often, the hushed whispers, the inspecting eyes scanning for evidence that will help to substantiate if ‘it’ is a “boy” or “girl”, the jeers, the catcalls, and in some extreme cases the physical violence!

Physical violence meted out to you by random strangers because you dress how you are not supposed to, because you are not how you are supposed to be !!!
Then there is the pressure and violence at home. The accusations of bringing disgrace to your family, of being ‘the black sheep’.

I have heard of sex change opearations- that they are a long winding procedure. Not that, post-operations the society-wallahs will treat you with respect. I have read tales of such people being duped by perverts who masquerade as lovers, of such people ending up as part of the flesh trade. And I know that there is a big, bad world outside.

But, all I hope to do through this blog post is to persuade you to treat such people with respect. Please just let them be. Whether the person writes ‘M’ or ‘F’ is none of your business.

And yes, will you please cut down on the scanning glances???

The person already has a difficult life. Don’t make it more difficult. And please note that your rude glances will not unnerve him/her. A person who has chosen to dress, walk, behave like the opposite sex will not be the least bothered about your stares. He/she has seen enough of it to not worry about it. And, please if you can, do treat them with some respect because of the tough life the person has chosen.

Respect him/her simply because he/she has decided to swim against the stream, and to listen to the voice inside. Whether you accept them as a male or female, please don’t judge the person. And yes, if the person is putting so much of effort to dress, walk, talk, and look like they are from the opposite sex, you just might as well accept them like that.

For acceptance is what they yearn for, and it can bring a smile on their faces. Being accepted is a wonderful feeling. . .


4 comments on “‘M’ or ‘F’ ??? – The gender debate with a difference.

  1. Its so overwhelming that you’ve touched upon such a sensitive subject.
    After all, To be as treated as fellow human beings is their only expectation and it’s so pathetic that we find it so hard to accept them the way they are.

  2. Its a shame how they are treated. The other day I saw three young men passing snide remarks on a T- girl. The girl was as graceful as any other girl could be, and she was just walking down the road, minding her own business. The remarks were so uncalled for. I was ashamed of myself as I just stood there doing nothing. Questions arise in my mind if I would have acted differently had it been a so called ‘normal’ girl. Maybe deep down inside i’m also programmed to not stand up for t-people. This blog is just a means of compensating for my guilt.

  3. mandyf says:

    Reblogged this on LGBT Nation.

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