This blog is for soup boys and soup girls. “Kolaveri Di” is the taste of the season. Its a great song.
But unfortunately this “Kolaveri” season hasn’t gone well for four of my friends. Four of my very good friends have recently had their break up’s. And this “Bloggaveri Di” is dedicated to them.
Thank you Priyanka Kabra, Sucharita Roy, Kaushik Dey, and Dipankar Sarkar for being the inspiration for this blogpost. A special word of acknowledgement for Kaushik Dey for sharing his experience and helping me write this.
“Break up” is an unavoidable part of growing up. Its like being told that you’re no longer good enough. Flat, outright rejection. Painful reality. But, yet, its an important part of the learning process called life.
The after effects of a break up aren’t pleasant. Insomnia, cry-a-thon, drug dependence, brooding over it are all well known and widely seen symptoms. Sometimes depression follows suite.
I’m now going to talk about the difficult part. The “getting over” part. The “moving on” part. First up, some of the things which don’t work:
1. DEPENDING ON YOUR FRIENDS TO PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSION :
I know its tempting to ask your friends to help, but trust me, it never works. Your friends don’t understand the intensity with which you had loved. You may recieve consolations like “Kamini tere laayek nahi hai yaar,bhul ja”, “Arre yaar see the brighter side. Someone better is in store”. But these are far from consoling.
Moreover, your depressed-guy act may soon start to bore your friends.
2. ABUSING YOUR EX :
You might be tempted to pick up the phone and hurl the choicest of abuses on your ex. Or post abuses on your ex’s facebook wall. But it never works. You’ll feel all the more pathetic. And you risk looking like a moron. So maintain your poise.
3. PICKING UP A NEW CHICK OR GUY :
Many swear by this theory. But thats the last thing you wanna do. You risk looking like a cassanova.
4. GARNERING SYMPATHY ON FACEBOOK :
This is a common phenomenon. And its very natural. Your facebook wall is after all a reflection of your mental status. But be warned though, there are plenty of morons on facebook, who care two hoots about your break up and will spoil your mood with snide comments.
Don’t do any of the above. And sincerely believe that YOU and only YOU can pull yourself up from this dark pit you’re in.
Firstly, accept the reality. Accept that he/she is no longer with you. You’ll have to lead your life without that person who you thought was ‘special’. I know it hurts – all the memories, the embraces, the romantic evenings. But you have to get over them.
Secondly, stop using the term “break up” and replace it with “spring-cleaning”. Do you know what spring-cleaning is? Its the time of the year when we clean your households and get rid of stuff we don’t need any more. This is the “spring cleaning” time of your life. Your ex was the ‘dirt’ that had accumulated in your life over the recent period. Now that ‘dirt’ is gone. And you must rid yourself of all other excessive baggage like memories, gifts, cards that person gave, photographs. Yes! Shove away everything associated with that person. You can do without them.
Thirdly, fall in love with yourself. Have you noticed how when we are in love, we tend to ignore ourselves? All your life is then centered around that person. And you have no time to look after yourself. So, yes, use this time well. Groom yourself, treat yourself, suprise yourself. Go out on long walks with yourself. Listen to yourself. Talk to yourself. Maintain a diary. Do anything that you had been wanting to do for a long time. But never had the time to. Go ahead. Falling in love with yourself is a life atlering experience.
Lastly, don’t rush yourself into another relationship just as yet. Let your wounds heal. Give time to yourself. Know how special and wonderful you are. Know this wonderful fact that you yourself are good enough to take care of yourself. Its only when you love yourself that you can love someone else. And yes, the next time around, while looking for that charming prince/ princess, be extra cautious. That person should be worthy of the ‘gem’ that you are. So don’t just commit yourself to yet another dolt. You are special !!!
Hope this was helpful!!!