Diary of an aspiring tv star

I found the following page of the personal diary of an aspiring tv star-
“Dear Diary, I want to be a television actor. A tv star. Like Mihir Virani. Like Om Agarwal. I want to have a lot of fun. When i’m a television star, i’ll roam about in those fancy bungalows. I’ll wear business suits. Shiny shoes. I’ll even have a stubble. Fun thing is that i won’t have to work. I can move around the house well dressed, or go to the local temple in my car with my co actress(read Parvati/ Tulsi/ Iccha/ Tapasya/ Ammaji). Despite doing nothing the whole day, I can still be the MD of my company. I can have a 15page long conversation with my co actress, with the camera going berserk , zooming in, zooming out. While i talk, there will be music in the background. Drums. Conch. Invisible ladies and gentlemen will sing “Dhoom ta na na na na na, Drim ta na na na na na”, if its a confrontational scene. Or if its an emotional scene, invisible people will hum the theme song in a low tempo.
I’ll be the ideal son of the nation. Despite the modern look , i’ll call my mother in the serial as ” Maa sa”, and refer to her as ‘tu’. And “Babu Sa” goes for Dad. When i talk to my parents in the serial, i’ll talk very slowly, in a low note. (I have to live up to my image of someone who ‘s cultured and respects his parents).
I love the fact that I can give two hoots about continuity and appear in an episode with a stubble. Despite the fact that the last episode had me clean shaved. This is my world and i make the rules!
I can even practise bigamy without the police arresting me.( Mihirgate scandal) . And yet enjoy the sympathy of the nation. Why? Because i was fooled into marrying someone else . As the vamp had deliberately switched my bride. I can drive fast cars off cliffs and even as viewers watch my car go up in flames, I can reappear 3yrs later (serial timeline) with a different face (Dr.Singhania’s plastic surgery clinic). Only to find that by then my widowed wife has remarried. Frustrated, i also remarry and then i have a new family. But one day, I bang my head on a rock and my memory is lost (no yadaasht!). I’m discovered by a heirless family. And they adopt me. They look for a girl and get me married. By this time i’m a seasoned polygamist .But i still enjoy the sympathy of the nation. Oh its so cool!
Now it turns out my present family that adopted me and my original family are business rivals. Now i’m the black horse who’s going to snatch every deal from my original family. But trouble starts brewing when i meet my ex wife on a daily basis(She’s now MD of my rival company) and my memory starts coming back. One day there’s a fire in the company’s godown. And i lose my face in the fire but this time Dr. Singhania gives me back my own face. N miraculously my memory too. Now there’s a tearful reunion scene . And i ditch everyone to reunite with my own family. Back to monogamy.
As everything returns to normalcy. And there is an air of happiness, my script writer goes crazy. There’s a 20year leap(serial timeline). I appear in the same business suite. Shiny shoes. Stubble. Only with a few patches of gray hair here and there. My wife has evaded aging signs. But our four children are abnormally grown up. But who cares anyway? Its my world and the scriptwriter rules. So continue the convoluted story plots, the temple visits, the over dressed scenes, plastic surgery, musical accompaniment…..and what not..
Its a wonderful life , Dear Diary , and that’s why i wanna be a tv star. ”


29 comments on “Diary of an aspiring tv star

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      Thank you for your appreciation. Certainly, I could write on and on when it comes to this subject. Sort of a cliched topic with all Indian bloggers by now. Yes, I could dedicate a brand new blogpost to it, if u would just be a bit more specific regarding the line of thought, you see. Do let me know, or if you wish to, we could brainstorm together(I’d mention your name in the credits, don’t worry) . Let me know soon. God bless!

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  16. Aadi says:

    This is perfect… It is a clean and a hilarious post… Am wondering what serial this is πŸ™‚ but whatever it is, ugh… U have, as others have mentioned, a style… B)
    Have to learn a lots from you… πŸ™‚
    God Bless…

    • This is about two very popular Hindi serials – “Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki” and “Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi”. Marathon serials.

      These aired when I was in school (class 7 or 8). I was glued to them then. Now I am ashamed of myself πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

      I have a lot to learn too, buddy. Keep up the good work. Great to meet another Eng Lit. student!

      • Aadi says:

        Ohh!!! Well, it’s the same here too, I used to watch tamil serials when I was small too… I remember certain names : “Panchami”, Manthiravaasal”, “Velan” πŸ˜› (The first two were horror while the third one was “God” type… Me, sis and Grandma used to spend our time like this in those days… And, frankly, I am not much ashamed of myself for watching those serials πŸ™‚ … strange… I dunno why…
        Btw…”another eng lit. student”… who’s the first one? πŸ˜‰ (if it’s no prob)

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